But I digress.
I was asked by post an entry about what I want for my birthday.
I could only come up with one thing. I asked David if he knew what it would be, and (surprisingly) he did.
Time. Okay - his answer was "Time with him".
So Time! Yep. How exciting is that?
It is exciting to me. Time to relax (and not feel guilty as I am right now that there are bathrooms to clean, carpets to vacuum, laundry to do ...). Time to do something fun with my husband. Time to pursue hobbies. Time to go on a vacation.
When I think about how it has been 6 years since I met David, it alarms me. My Cole is turning 8 in two weeks. I am officially aware of how fast time passes. It's shocking. It is disturbing. It is distressing!
As a child, you feel as though time trickles by slowly. That perception changes as you get older. I think having children young and working through highschool makes time feel as though it has flown by even faster. I graduated from highschool 10 years ago. Cole will graduate from highschool in 10 years. In 10 years I will be turning 38. I have the unsettled feeling that I have missed doing so much. I wasn't frustrated by the level of responsibility I have had since leaving highschool at the time, but now as I get closer to 30, I realize the things I missed out on being able to do - things that I can't just "do later" because there will always be needs greater than my own to consider.
These realizations fuel my desire to do more *live in the moment* things. Going to Disney World. Taking kids out of school to visit the zoo. Spending an afternoon doing crafts with my daughter instead of laundry. It's not a bad thing to realize your going to turn around one day and your kids will be leaving home and you will be officially hitting middle age. It has made me realize that, while I may have insurmountable laundry and dishes and cooking and taxi driving to do each day, it's okay to take time out to do something less responsible :)
So what I would like for my birthday is time. Time to go to a movie with David. Time to go out for coffee with a friend. Time to visit a museum. Time to travel for a week without kids. Time to travel WITH the kids.
Some Times will be trickier than others. Some Times will require outside help. But mostly, I can give this birthday gift to myself.
I've never been good at listing things I want for myself. It used to frustrate David, (and no, I realize it isn't only him who has been frustrated by this), but I think he has gotten used to it :). And he's managed to come up with a "birthday" present all on his own that I'm not supposed to know about, but I do - and it's perfect.
And it involves time :)